Cleaning - Removing negative or unwanted aspects in your life. Getting rid of unwanted burdens. You may need to clear out your thoughts and get rid of your old ways and habits.

Hospital - symbolizes a need for for care, healing, and recovery. It could be physical, psychological, emotional or spiritual.

Lightbulb - suggests that you are ready to accept and/or face reality. It refers to your consciousness. The dream also symbolizes spiritual enlightenment, hope, new ideas and visions. You are approaching a situation in a new direction.
A broken lightbulb would mean the opposite....that you are afraid of new ideas, or changes. You feel that you are 'still in the dark' about some things.

Crying/screaming child - symbolizes you, or your inner self releasing emotional stress.

Dark room - symbolizes what is unknown, or not defined by the intellect or the conscious self. Things you are unaware of such as depression, confusion, secrets we hide from ourselves as well as others, and things we don't want to know about ourselves.

Young girl (deformed) - represents you and your fear of having a child who could be viewed as 'less than perfect'.

Shaking child(killed her) - subconsciously angry at yourself, and trying to 'kill' that childish attitude.

Strapped to a bed in hospital - feeling trapped by an emotion, probably fear.
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Do you feel that even though you want a child, you are still 'unprepared'?
Do you worry about being a parent, or fear that you won't be a good parent?
Are you worried, or afraid that your child could have a birth defect of some sort? (especially if you have seen a tv program recently about birth defects)

Most women who are 'trying' for a baby have these fears. We're afraid we'll do something wrong, or that our child will have something 'wrong' with them, or that we might have a miscarriage. So many 'unknowns' about becoming pregnant. If we could just get a 100% guarantee that things will go perfectly, we'd feel so much better. Unfortunately, we never get that guarantee...and babies never come with instructions. We just do the best we can, and have faith that we'll know just what to do when the time come.
Relax, take a breath, and remember that women have been doing this since time began. Trust your love....you'll do just fine.

Hugs, hope & happiness,
J

I'm sure sorry to hear of you're hardships growing up. I know how tough that is. Been there...

That someone had done this to her(you) was making you angry....and you may be feeling some residual resentment from your childhood.
On a posative note,....you've had previous experience in child-rearing. You're probably scared, but prepared. Knowing what you know, you'll probably make one helluva mom....and protective as ever.
Hugs n' Happiness!
J