Does this sound weird or what?  In my dream I'm asleep in my bed as normal. Suddenly I have a feeling that I have to wake up, like my life depends on it.  I'm trying so hard to wake up, I'm forcing my eyes open, forcing myself to sit up (I can only describe it as if you maybe were drugged or waking up from an operation) I get up and think I'm up, then suddenly I'm back in bed asleep and it all happens again.  This can happen over and over again in my dream.   When I do actually wake up for real, not in my dream, for a second or so, I think am I really awake.  What the hell does that mean?

I do feel like life is passing me by.  I do the same things everyday, which is pretty much nothing as I lost my job.  At first I thought this gave me freedom to do what I  want when I want, but I don't do it.  Wow right on the mark there.