I decided to get up this morning as soon as I woke up from this nightmare.  I have very vivid dreams a lot and they are just so real it's scary.  I finally wrote one down.  I've been meaning to for awhile. So here it is. And it's weird

I was with guy..he wasn't my husband b/c it felt more like a boyfriend but I didn't see him or his face, I just know it wasn't my husband.  We drove to his work in my car I'm assuming b/c Addy was in the back in the carseat.  He drove. 

We went inside for me to meet his coworkers or something really quick b/c Addy was in the car.  My stepmom came in (it was a small locally owned copy center by the way, I knew that in my dream) she came in and we got really into it.  We said words..I honestly don't even remember the fight, just that she stormed out and next thing I know, I run outside with a mother's instinct and Addy was gone.

Then all of a sudden my sister was sitting there in the car next to mine, but she didn't know anything.  From there, I started freaking out.  It took me forever to dial the police...they said hi and all that, I began to tell them what happened and got to tired telling them and stopped and there was no answer, so I knew I was dreaming, but I kept dreaming.

I ended up at my moms house.  This was a house we grew up in in highschool. (Parents live in AZ now and have for 2 1/2 years.)  So it was our old local home.  The kitchen was a little bigger and the table was different.  Mom wasn't paying much attention to me freaking out the Addy was gone and I started picking up a chair to smash it into the tile I was so hysterical and pissed and wanted to kill someone. 

I don't know if I'd tried reaching Susan (stepmom) before, but I know I tried now, at my mom's, and Susan was all messed up talking to me.  I said, "what are you on?" (she's an alky anyway) She kept going around where Addy was..she was just ignoring it actually...I told her I had called the cops and they were on their way out to arrest her for kidnapping and it didn't phase her.  I asked what she was on and she said, "I got ahold of Tom."  (I'm an ex drugaddict-clean for 4 1/2 years now and Tom was my "hook-up", but she wouldn't have ever known that.  I was very secretive, plus it was in a whole other state.)

So she said that, and I knew she was all messed up on meth, she was out of it wacky like she'd done so much she couldn't even function.  She said Addy was in the way (in other words) and didn't know where she went.

My stepmom and dad live in the country (which was where this was at, or she was at)

All I could think of was Addy getting smashed by a car on the country road and I was just freaking out. 

I woke up after that..wrote down my dream and have been up since.  It woke me up b4 my wake up time and so it was really disturbing.